Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
