i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
