i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
