If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize