Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
