The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
When are your genitals available?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
