true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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