You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize