My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
