thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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