Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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