im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just cropdusted the office
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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