Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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