he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
