Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
