I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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