I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
After tacos, we're chasing women.