Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize