Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
