hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
