I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Randomize
