I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
