She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
