his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
