it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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