They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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