; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
