Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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