Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
