true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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