At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.