One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
