god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
