i'm signing you up for texting rehab
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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