Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
