The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize