I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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