I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
