can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
