There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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