I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
a search helicopter?!
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
