My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
