Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
