So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
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Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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