dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
