your parents love me but you hate me
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
