does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
