All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
