Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize