check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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