i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize