my phone needs a breathalizer
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize