I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
