I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Your penis caused this!
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