I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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