I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Randomize
