just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
