So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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