nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
me + whiskey = a bad person
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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