she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
