does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
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i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
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He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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