Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
my poor anus
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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