yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
