Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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