You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just found puke in my bra..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
