ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
